November 1st 11:21 pm eastern

The year is coming to a close and I'll be busy at work with the holidays. You know, I went into 2008 hoping that this would be a better year. I was single (granted I broke up with my boyfriend at the time on New Year's eve...I should have known karma would kick me in the ass sooner or later). It seemed as though everything would take off to a fresh start. However, deep down I knew this would not be a good year for me. I became involved in what I like to call the second most serious relationship in my life with a guy who turned out to be a selfish and pompous jerk. A man who broke up with me six months after we started going, the day after a drunken and heated argument in front of a sports bar the night before where I also proceeded to proclaim my love for him for the first time. I don't want to go into to much detail about him or the relationship because...I'll get over it and I've spent enough time already dwelling over the loss and blah blah blahh. Though, I will say that I believe having my heart broken in the way that it was turned out to be a learning experience and was something that I had coming to me. That statement in no way, shape, or form constitutes any feelings of forgiveness to anyone. I hold grudges and this is one that I plan to hold for a very long time, but back to what I was saying earlier. I feel as though the break-up and the manner in which it happened was deserving for me and will turn out to be a learning experience in the long run. As innocent as I percieve myself to be I will admit that I am in fact quite the opposite at times. I have broken my share of hearts leaving quite a path of destruction in my wake, but hey hasn't everyone? And relationships no matter how long they last, whether it be six months or three years, should always be looked back on in a positive way. That is to say unless they last a lifetime...but that hasn't happened yet so I won't go there. After each break up I've gone through I will admit that as hard as it may always seem at first, I learn more about myself and what I want in a relationship the next time I encounter a potential. And I also learn how cope. How to grieve over losing the person you cared about so much. I realize that it's not the end of the world and that life goes on. Even though at the time I may threaten to end my life a few times, but hasn't everyone done that too? After the last one I managed to get rid of everything he ever gave me the day after he broke up with me. Well, almost everything. I kept the HDMI cable he got me, but everything else was compost. I think that's something everyone should do. Having stuff like that around just makes it harder to move on. Even with all the pictures and presents gone you're still haunted by all the memories and every day reminders like...all the songs on my iPod that I purposely uploaded so I could listen to them in the car all the while thinking about him. Or the places we used to go and the people we know. We have been apart two months now and people still come up to me asking how my boyfriend is. It's like what the fuck people. Anyway, this isn't what I wanted this to be about. What I really wanted to talk about in this entry is how I've been getting over it and where I plan to go from here. I think I've been doing a pretty good job. I've only slept with four people in two months which isn't great, but for me that's not too shabby. There is potential for me to be much more of a tramp than that and I'm grateful that it's only four so get off my ass about it people! In the coming months I plan to slow down a lot. I really need to stop going out all the time. I want to go to the gym more and take better care of my dog. And I want to cut back on smoking and attempt to save money. Christmas is coming soon and I haven't started any of my shopping. And New Years is two months away. Hopefully 09' will be a better year. Goodnight.